My cat is insane.

No. You can’t go outside today.

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It’s too hot. Today you don’t breathe the air, you sip it. Except it’s too hot so you don’t have the energy to sip.

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No really, it’s like 782 thousand degrees outside. Temperature of the sun? Piffle. Plus, you are wearing a fur coat. Remember?

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Okay, so here’s the thing; *I* don’t want to go outside. And I don’t know cat CPR, so I have a bad feeling that if something happens to you, people will see me trying to give you mouth-to-mouth and realize I have been spending way too much time away from male companionship.

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How about some treats instead?

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You hate me.
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