My cat is insane.

No. You can’t go outside today.


It’s too hot. Today you don’t breathe the air, you sip it. Except it’s too hot so you don’t have the energy to sip.


No really, it’s like 782 thousand degrees outside. Temperature of the sun? Piffle. Plus, you are wearing a fur coat. Remember?


Okay, so here’s the thing; *I* don’t want to go outside. And I don’t know cat CPR, so I have a bad feeling that if something happens to you, people will see me trying to give you mouth-to-mouth and realize I have been spending way too much time away from male companionship.


How about some treats instead?

You hate me.

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