Failing At Kitchen: Plantains are delicious. Even if they’re burnt.

Plantains are cheap, easy and have no problem hanging out with anything yummy. Kinda like me on a slow Friday. Aldi has been selling them for fifty cents, so I hit that hard.

A savory banana? Yeah baby! With a few tips, anyone can make em at home. Even me. Sorta. I’ve been making these off & on for a few years. And half the time I burn them in my quest to reach caramel edge heaven. Yeah, what I’m saying is take this post with a grain of salt. And the number of a good Caribbean restaurant just in case. Oh wait, that’s what I should do.

Plantains Of Yumminess
(serves one, or more if you have more than one/wanna make this an appetizer)

* Plantains
* Oil (I used canola, but I have used EVOO before)
* salt and pepper to taste OR
* Delicious fruit spice.

Pick that last one up at your local bodega, H Mart or Shoppers. I bet other stores carry it, but that’s where I get mine. As long as it’s got citric acid, paprika and salt? Golden. How will you know how to find it? Look for the brand in the picture below, or just look for Fruit Spice or words to that effect. Yeah, you don’t need-need it, but…yum.


Gather the troops.


Muuuuuush! I use a plantain smasher (I have no idea what it’s really called because I’m clueless), but you can use the flat-end of a knife, or wax paper & a plate. Then sprinkle with salt, pepper and/or that groovy spice mix.


After you’ve cooked ’em on both sides, drain on paper. Get a nice caramelization on the outside. Not burnt schmutz. Just saying.

Don’t forget to rinse the pan right after you’re done cooking. Especially important with cast iron. Trust me, I learned the hard way. Simply filling with water and letting it soak is fine.

I usually serve with a sweetened sour cream, but I didn’t have any this go-round. So I teamed them with crackers cheese, broccoli and Spanish rice-a-roni. Classy, I know.

And yes, those are snap-n-bake cookies back there. I’m just all KINDS of domestic.

Sweetened Sour Cream

* Sour Cream (obviously)
* Sugar (though I have used the fake stuff in the past)
* Lemon juice

1) Mix up ingredients. How? Add a little bit of sugar (a half tsp per half cup to start) and a dash of lemon juice. Taste, and adjust as you like.
2) Serve alongside plantains.

You can use plain yoghurt if you like – and I like – just use less lemon if you aren’t into tang. But don’t omit it altogether.

How to pick a plantain? Easy. Look for one that is soft but not mushy. If you only find unripe ones, but they’re on sale? They ripen up nicely, and quick.

What have we learned today?

I will do anything to get me some plantains. And I have no standards.


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