#FedUpChallenge, or how I’ll be cheating on Katie Couric

Image: IMDb
Image: IMDb

Hodor knows I do love me some sugar.  Hodor!

I wasn’t always like this.

Okay, so when I was a kid I tended to try to shove as many Ho-Hos into my gaping maw as my parents would allow.  But as I blew through high school and college, I realized something; I no longer “needed” dessert.  I was fine and dandy without it.  As I watched my husband make meals of ice cream or cereal, I shrugged and dug into my Big Salad.  He was always twenty thousand times more fit than I was, anyway.

Then I divorced, and moved back to the ol’ neighborhood.  And for some reason, I began to peck.  First it was a cookie here and there, then a scoop of ice cream.  Before I knew it, I was planning my dessert before I’d even finished cooking dinner.  That got even worse when I stopped cooking and started going packet/takeaway crazy.

How’d I get like this?  I’d love to blame someone, but honestly?  I know how to cook.  I’d cooked on the regular for years.  But laziness got the better of me, and pre-made, processed stuff became my Sun and Stars.  Big mistake.  Big.  Huge.

Add to that my newfound love of craft beer, and I have no question at all where the extra ten pounds I’ve been complaining about for the last 7 years has come from.  So when I saw last Thursday’s The Daily Show, where Jon Stewart talked to Katie Couric about the documentary Fed Up, the first thing I thought was:

Damn.  I really need to do this 10-Day-Sugar-Free-Challenge thing.

The second:

There’s no way on God’s green I’ll be able to stick with it.  I know me.

So.  The day before the Challenge hits, I’ve decided on a few personal ground rules.  Sorry, Katie.  Here goes:

* Sugar-free is okay.  Or, at least if there’s no added sugar in the sugar-free stuff.  Seriously y’all; I just looked at a particular item that’s touted as Sugar Free…and it’s got lactose as an ingredient!  I wonder how diabetics feel about that.  Meh; they’re probably smarter than I am at this stuff.  Anyway, I don’t think I’ll be able to get through this without a little help from Jell-o Sugar Free black cherry.  It’s my touchstone.

* BEER IS OKAY.  I know this is probably going to be a killer, but let’s face it.  The next ten days will have me screening Godzilla, X-Men: Days of Future Past, and Blended.  (Okay, that last one will probably truly require a bit of Open Mindedness Through Alcohol.)  There’s also the release of a few new DuClaw beers on the same day as the Godzilla screening.  To misquote Benjamin Franklin: Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.  Especially when the timing is so freakin’ on point.  So yes, beer = okay.  But I will limit to one a day.  Two, in the case of the double-release on Godzilla Day.

* To balance out the beer — snerk — I’ll try to cut back on the diet soda I’ve been slurping.  Because I’m sure that’s not all that great for me either.

* I’ll allow myself one cheat per day.  Want that piece of toast (and for cryin’ out Pete, why does Every Friggin Bread Item have sugar added in?)  Well, enjoy the heck out of it.  And no honey, peanut butter or cinnamon sugar, darlin’.  What I’m hoping for is that if I know I can have one cheat?  I’ll be less likely to actually cheat.  That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.  Plus, I have a feeling that my beloved peanut butter is gonna be my Achilles heel.  So I’ll need the comfort of knowing I can dip a spoon into the ol’ Jif for a quick taste if I’m really getting the shakes.

* At the end of every day, or more likely first thing the next, I’ll post my on-line diary of the day.  So, Day 1 = the morning of Day 2 at the latest.

 

Wish me luck!  I’ll need it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go finish off the whole-wheat chocolate chip pancakes with homemade sweetened fat-free cream cheese spread I made to celebrate Mother’s Day.  Because cats totally count.  And they couldn’t make them for me, because thumbs.

 

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