New picture, new look for the wall.

Tada!

Yeah, it’s straight from the Droid.  Nothing but the very best for this blog, yessir.

I do like how it brings the “cinema” look a bit closer to what I’d envisioned.  I hesitate to say theme, because really.  That would make it sound as if I actually have a plan, instead of what’s really going on.  Which goes a little something like this:

Hmm.  That downstairs area has a shelfy-thing.  I could put a tv on it.  And then put some shelves up and call it a built-in-ish thing.  So, with a tv…why not try for a movie/tv look?  Because having a entertainment center that has movie and tv themed stuff is so original!  Yeah, that’d work.  Hey look; cinema-looking things!  Hmm.  Maybe I should buy a thesaurus, otherwise every single word I use will be “thing”, and that probably isn’t a good idea.  PONY!

Is it any wonder that I pat myself on the back when I do the most mundane, simplistic task?  It’s a madhouse in there, I tell you. 

And now that I have things pretty well settled, it’s time.  Time to start wondering what Chez Cochon would look like if it looked…different.  A different color in the kitchen, maybe different cabinets & even a subway-tile backsplash.  A new sink for the upstairs postage-stamp bathroom.  Whacking down the slowly-eroding deck (thanks for not using treated wood, construction people) and putting in stairs instead….

Ah, home design.  Just when you think it’s all over?  THEY SUCK YOU BACK IN.

I have always been the optimistic type.

As my cinema themed (yes, there’s a theme. Somewhere.) ManCave slowly comes into being, I like to think I make good choices. Sure.

Tonight though? Iffy. Thought I have loved this print/canvas-art thing for a while, I don’t think I put enough thought into the storage of said item…during a screening I’m attending for my critic gig. Oops.

But it was $13, from $40. I couldn’t walk away!

Tonight’s screening should be interesting. I just hope it won’t be a pain for my nearby press-mates.

My bad.

[UPDATE: I got it home!!! And it's all in one piece, and it's not ripped or covered in escalator grease from the Metro. And how gross is that slimy stuff, anyway?

I am trying to figure out exactly where in the ManCave it will live, and when I do I will post a shiny new pic.

Oh, and BTW, there's a sticker-tag thing on the back that says $59.95. So I did save $27, I saved $47. Yaaaay!]

Failure to sleep = attraction to the shiny

Well, I feel it’s time to head out into the great big 21st Century. What better time to do that than when I’m trying to figure out how to get to sleep?

After the SOPA/PIPA blackout earlier, I bumbled around the Googles like I do, and found out that WordPress has an Android app. Who knew? Besides every tech savvy person on the planet. I immediately downloaded it. Shiny new toy! Does this app make me look thinner? Lie if you have to.

To make this a post that’s more than a test of the app, I figure why not crank out a few of my current design/DIY ideas? Here goes:

* ditch the banquette near the slider, replace with a high-hung (installed? Set? Whatever.) shelving unit with see-through doors. Under this shelf thing, the IKEA foldable table in white. So I can….
* Put in a “built in” bench unit that starts at the other side of the slider and then pulls a 90° angle til it hits the end of the bump-out area/the stove. Voila! Cool bench seating. Maybe even with storage & cushions. I’m a wild child!

Okay, enough thinking at 1:30am. Time for a cute picture of ZoeB. G’nite!

(Man I hope this app thingy works. Here goes….)

Since I’m too “Dee” to figure out how to blackout my site: STOP PIPA!

Today there’s a blackout of Web sites in a Hands-Across-Everywhere show of solidarity.

Me?  I can’t figure out how to use the plug-ins.

So.

Here’s a link to the Make the Call – Stop the Wall info site.  And it’s awesome.  You know what else is awesome?  Reddit’s info post on SOPA and PIPA (thanks, @wilw, for that bit of 411).  Contact your local Representatives.

Remember: all that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing. (All apologies to Edmund Burke for the gender-neutral liberal commie pinko morphing of his words.)

 

[UPDATE: looks like it's being shelved for now -- WOOT!  One can only hope it'll be shelved for-evah....]

I Feel Sorry For The Lamp (or, how I shop Holiday Clearance)

Rudolphs. I'm guessing that when you have a herd of Rudolphs they become Rudolphi?

Mmm.  Nothing is better than the holidays…except for the moment of time immediately after when all holiday stuff goes on super-deep discount.  Just so I don’t get distracted by the cornucopia of holiday goodness (I’m looking at you, former self during post-Halloween 2010), I make a list of stuff I need.  So I don’t come home with a bag of crap I’ll never use/that will suck storage space from my already threadbare supply.

This year’s list:

• Bows for the front stair/stoop railing.
• Garland for said railing.
• Pop-up tape.
• 3M sticky-hooky things.
• A fake Xmas tree around 3-4′ tall, preferably unlit, preferably silver, gold, multicolor or purple.
• Maybe a 2nd Xmas tree for upstairs.  Let’s make with the Jolly for 2012, y’all.
• New tuppers that make better use of what little storage I’ve got, to replace the one ginormous but awkward Xmas tupper I’ve had for years

What I ended up with:

• Two Xmas trees; one purple (yayz!) and one turquoise (huh?).  Both under 3′ apiece.
• Bows for the rail
• Window cling things, candy-cane shaped.
• Window cling things, solid color jello-like clings in the shape of cats with Santa hats.  Because NOTHING says sexy singleton like cats with Santa hats on your windows.  Come get me, fellas.  Line’s to your right.
• Santa kitchen towel.  See above.
• Mini-stuffed reindeer ornament.  From Starbucks, so it’s classy.  Ahem.
• 3 Solar-powered “crackle sphere” multicolored LED lights.  Because I’ll use them in the backyard once it’s fenced.  Sure I will.
• 5 LED snowflakes with suction cups that allow ‘em to be attached anywhere.  Anywhere smooth.  Which rules out just about everywhere except the fridge.  Or my brand-new(ish) flatscreen tv.  One of those items probably isn’t the best idea…so I guess I’ll have to find something else for the fridge.
• Two tuppers that fit the storage shelving-unit thingy perfectly, freeing up space in the under-the-stairs thingy.
• Approximately 12 zillion boxes of Christmas Kleenex/Puffs, aluminum foil, Ziploc freezer bags and containers.  Because nothing says summertime better than Santa holding the pasta salad.
• Three bottle/squeezies of watermelon-flavored Colgate toothpaste for kids, in holiday packaging.  From this moment forward, Christmas will now and forevermore mean watermelon-flavored toothpaste.
• The Rudolphs.  More on them in a bit.

Yep.  Kinda proud of myself for having the sheer force of will that kept me from going batshit crazy during the holiday sale this year.  Oh who am I kidding?  I went absolutely crazy, running up and down the aisles, caught up in the moment with a bunch of hardcore bargain-hunters.  How could I resist joining in?  Let me rephrase that; how, with my total and complete lack of self control, could I resist joining in?

Hello. My name is Denise, and I have a problem....

...I understand that's the first step.

Sure, I now have enough paper & plastic goods for the rest of the year, all bought at about a buck apiece (or, in the case of the tissues, 82 cents apiece).  Plus, one of the bargain-hunters floated me some of her coupons for said items, so they were even cheaper.  But I can’t help thinking I lost it a bit.  Especially when I look at my Swamp Room and see the ginormous wad of stash.  Don’t bother calling Hoarders for me, they’re already appalled.

My pièce de résistance of this holiday shopping catastrophe are the Rudolphs.  Cute little buggers, aren’t they?  So, you may be thinking, I’m guessing she bought three because she has three levels/three areas she wants to showcase ‘em/some sort of plan somewhere in here bb-rattling-in-a-tuna-can brain?

You’d be wrong.  I bought them for the same reason I buy a lot of things: I Feel Sorry For The Lamp.  You know, the IKEA commercial where a poor little lamp with tons of good years left (*nif*) gets tossed aside (*gulp*) LIKE SO MUCH TRASH, TO GET RAINED ON AND SO IT CRIES AND YOU’D NEVER KNOW BECAUSE IT’S RAINING AND THE LAMP DOES TOO HAVE FEELINGS GODDAMMIT!

Anyway, so yeah.  I buy things to save their lives.  Poor little misfit toys.  So what if they “don’t work”?  (Oh yes, they have a battery receptacle on their little tushies don’cha know.  They be classin’.)  I’ll bet they want to be dentists.    They were 48 cents, marked down from $14.99.  And we all know what that means.  That means they’re one step away from being tossed into The Can.

There there.  Don’t worry boys.  You’re safe with me.  *dashes away tear*

Christmas 2012 will be the best Christmas ever.  For me, for Zoe…and most especially, for the Rudolphi.  It’s a fucking Christmas miracle, and it’s beautiful.

Tags: bargain shopping, Holiday Clearance, holidays

2012: The Year I Cook More. Dammit.

Since I plan on doing a few house-centric resolutions this year that will require a bit of saving, why not get back into the cooking groove?  I used to cook every day.  Homemade tortillas.  Cream puffs.  Cinnamon buns.  Roast chicken.  Stuffed porkchops.  Now?  Nothin’.  Maybe some pasta, or something in a crockpot.  That’s just sad.

What has put me in this mood?  That’d be a who: Oprah.  Got an e-mail from her Web site this morning with a list of New Year’s cooking resolutions.  And I thought it would be a very good idea if I adopted a few of ‘em.  With a twist or two, of course.

So, here are my cooking resolutions for this year.  Because really, it’s time I got to rattlin’ those pots & pans.

1) Master 3 new dishes so you can make them (& make ‘em delicious) without a recipe
I really need to do this.  I can’t seem to come up with anything when someone says “hey, let’s make something….”  Maybe perfect the Greek Chicken/Lamb (which is kinda like cheating but I Don’t Care), and then figure out a cool veggie/vegan dish.  Then a balls-out bellybuster?  Yeah, probably pasta.

2) USE the cookbooks I have
I have great cookbooks.  I’ve even tabbed certain recipes in ‘em.  I never use them.  This year?  Picking a tab once a month and going for it.

3) Make Your Own Mayonnaise.  Again.
Dude.  It’s been over 20 years since you made mayo from scratch.  Remember how damn easy it was?  Then you up and started grad school and got all lazy and stuff.  So it’s got egg yolks.  It’s dead easy, and it’s absolutely delicious.  Why not show someone — my curiously cooking-shy sister, perhaps — how to do it?  Then *really* homemade tuna salad for everyone!

4) Cook something with shells
Ulp.  As much as I love me some seafood, I fear cooking ‘em.  How hard could it be?  Y’know, not ending the evening in the hospital with a disease named after me?  Only time will tell.  I’m doing this, dammit.  Probably with beer.  Because beer is awesome.

5) FINALLY learn how to make risotto!
Because I’ve been yammering on and on about this for years.  Time to put up or stuff my piehole with substandard frozen packets.

6) Make biscuits once a week for a month.  Or more.
I used to make biscuits just about every day.  I even received compliments on them from real Southerners (as opposed to my “Just Below the Mason Dixon Line” self).  Make ‘em whole wheat to healthy ‘em up, but make ‘em.

Okay, this list is on the interwebs.  And as we all know, if it’s here, it’s true.

My lord, what have I done….

Tags: Cooking, Resolutions

New Year, new things.

Wow.  Two years here in Chez Cochon?  Did 2011 zip by or is it just me?

Anywho, time to make a list of things I’d like to accomplish, house-wise, for the year.  Y’know, until the apocalypse puts this list on low priority.

Chez Cochon 2012 List O’ Goodness

1) FENCE THE BACKYARD.  Dammit.  Even though it’ll cost about $500 bucks just to have some City dork come out and put flags down to tell me what the property line is.  It’ll be worth it for peace of mind, or so I keep telling myself.  But I really, really want a fenced-in backyard.  It’s a quality-of-life (and a wanna-keep-a-trashcan) thang.  I may even — gasp! — finance it.  But it has to be done.  HAS TO.

2) Fix the $&#*@ spot of carpet that I ripped up, post Lilycat.  But first…

3) Put up a storm door.  Because it’s more energy efficient that way.  Plus, I can decorate my front door all pretty-like and not worry about rain muffing the wrapping paper I’ll put up for the holidays.  But also so I can…

4) Paint the damn front door already.  Seriously y’all.  It has to be done.  Because according to people much, much more intelligent and put-together than I am, your front door says something about you (and btw, the second picture down?  That’s the color I want; gorgeous.)  Right now mine says “I can’t be arsed”.  But I want it to say “wheee, pretty!”

5) End the cluster-bleep that is the current state of my closet and put in drawers.  I want a long buncha drawers in my master bedroom closet.  That way I can finally ditch the oh-so-attractive tuppers & old IKEA storage crap I’ve crammed in there.  Mmmmm.  And I could do it too; all I’d need to do is trim up the current rods/shelves-things and insert drawers.  (Hooray for storage systems!)

6) Hang up my house number.  Which also means I need to get over my Fear Of Drilling Into Brick and just do it already.

7) Seal the windows and front door.  Or rather, pay someone to do it.

8) Lastly (for now), put up pretty windowboxes in front of the upper front windows.  I’d love a sinple, Arts & Crafts-like iron windowbox cage, but who knows what I’ll end up with?  Mmm, windowboxes.

I Haz Tree! (Or, a Chez Cochon Xmas, Volume 3)

YAAAAAAAY! I finally got up off it and grabbed a Christmas tree. All thanks to a friend’s brilliant idea to find a “table top tree”. They’re the perfect size for the spot I like to put ‘em. And since I waited so long (hey, how was I to know that nobody makes artificial trees without regular fairy lights already attached?) I grabbed my tree for $7 & change. Bonus!

Threw on the LED lights I bought last year on discount (no Black Friday deals on holiday decor this year it seemed), along with a bunch of the ornaments I’ve been collecting since I was a tot. Tada!

I think it’s adorable. Zoe thinks it’s an appetizer. That just means it’s Christmas y’all.

Have a happy merry!

Happiness is a new shelf.

Scored a stainless steel shelf from the As-Is Dept of IKEA, and now my assorted kitchen sink stuff is no longer cluttering the countertop! Yay – finally! So it doesn’t really "go" with the cabinets? Bah. Me likey!

Yeah, so all that sink stuff is now cluttering the shelf…but it looks like an organized clutter. Boo-yah! I even managed to pack up the last bits of Halloween decor – *snif* – and pop up a bit of Xmas. But more on that later.

Now if I could swing fencing the backyard (and before that, having the yard/property lines officially marked; why that costs over $500 I’ll never understand). Mmmmm.

A gal has gotta have a dream. For now, I’m just gonna stare at this shelf and smile.

Bricks and flowers

Well, it’s been a while since I plopped the cut-rate plants into the back yard. And now? A few flowers!

Okay, the stems are thislong, but still. Yay!

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